I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
