so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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