I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
