this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
