I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
