i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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