If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
This is my gift to your gina
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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