Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
