i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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