Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
