Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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