The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
