I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
