You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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