I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
