I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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