I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
