She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
