apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
