You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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