Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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