I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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