its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
