Define "chronic" masturbator.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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