Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
