Whod you bang
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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