Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
