Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I puked a lego.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
