Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
