I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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