No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
