Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
God I need to hump something, right now.
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