And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
