Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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