yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
