Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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