the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
