Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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