Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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