Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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