After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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