I got chris browned last night
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
