He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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