I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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