Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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