doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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