He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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