Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just invented taco cereal.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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