Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
