Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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