im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
